Today marks day 74 of practicing 62 minutes/day of Sodarshan Chakra Kriya, a powerful meditation in the Kundalini Yoga tradition.  Practicing this meditation has completely transformed my life!  How?  Well, here are some of the results: I feel better overall, more energetic, happier, less prone to depression; I am more able to follow through on my projects from start to completion; Addictive patterns are slowly melting away; and I am fulfilling my destiny. I’ve known since my first Kundalini Yoga teacher suggested it, that this practice is something I need to do in this lifetime to further my spiritual growth.

The seed for practicing this particular meditation was planted seven years ago at a yoga teacher training intensive with Ravi Singh and Ana Brett. I had just discovered Kundalini Yoga and was eager to master it, all in four days! Well, that didn’t happen, but I did learn a lot about Kundalini Yoga and meditation. All teacher trainees were instructed by Ravi to practice 40 days straight of 62 minutes of Sodarshan Chakra Kriya as one of the requirements for certification. When I heard this instruction, something in me said “yes.” I got home full of enthusiasm, and didn’t do it. I did a lot of other things, certainly beneficial practices, all of them, but they weren’t this particular practice.  Periodically, my inner voice would ask me “when are you going to start Sodarshan Chakra Kriya?” like a nagging underthought. The question didn’t present itself all the time, just on a regular basis.   Just enough to make me consistently aware that there was something I was supposed to be doing that I wasn’t doing.  My answer was always “Not today.”  This happened for seven years.

One day, however, my inner voice changed its tactics.  It started screaming insistently.  “It’s time to start.  Start June first, 2011. This is it.”  My inner voice was very specific, very insistent, and I listened. I could tell that my procrastinating days were over. I had laid a good foundation for this practice, so I started. I got my timer, queued up the music, and began.  Inhale fully through the left nostril.  Suspend the breath.  Pump the belly and chant 16 repetitions of the mantra “Wahe Guru”.  Exhale completely through the right nostril. Repeat.  Sometimes it was tedious, but mostly I just knew I was on the right track, finally.  Noticeable changes started to happen, and I felt better and better. My mind was clearer and I felt like I could do anything!  Practicing this meditation gave me access to my own innate power. Wow!  Once 40 days was up, I didn’t feel like stopping.  According to kundalini yoga philosophy, it takes 40 days to change a habit, 90 days to confirm the habit. In 120 days, the new habit is who you are, and in 1000 days you have mastered the new habit.  I decided I would increase my original goal from 40 days to 1000! So I kept it going all the way to day 136… and then…on day 137, I completed 42 minutes, with the intention of finishing that afternoon.  However, my afternoon brought much chaos and diversion, and I missed my second session.  The following morning I awoke with a start at 3AM, realizing what I had done, but by then it was too late. I had broken the cycle.  I spent a few long moments feeling bad about it, but then decided to just start all over!  That’s why I’m currently on day 74 instead of day 210.  But it doesn’t matter at all! I am where I am, and so grateful to be here and to have learned what I’ve learned and experienced what I’ve experienced through this amazing practice.

Sat nam

Ten days is a short time when we spend 24 hours traveling each way, however it was long enough to remind me of some fundamental aspects of yoga.  In the United States yoga is a booming billion dollar industry.  In America for most people the word yoga invokes images of young athletic women wearing Lululemon sweating their way into difficult postures.  This is very different from what Patanjali, the father of classical yoga defines this ancient “art of living and science of experience.”  Yoga is not a sport or a competition.  Yoga is primarily concerned with our inner space although, we use physical postures or the breath as an entry point.  Yoga is practiced more off the mat than on the mat.  Yoga is not something we achieve, it is something we practice for a long time.  Yoga is a lifelong journey that brings us closer to understanding ourselves.

Kaivalyadham Yoga Institute message

Yoga undeniably has physical benefits.  Depending on the style of yoga, it may bring increased strength, flexibility and even stamina. In the USA this is an important reason to do yoga – to get a “workout.”  To the folks in India this can be close to blasphemy.  In the classical sense, yoga postures should “bestow the steadiness of body and a feeling of wellbeing at the psychological level” (Patanjali Yoga Sutras, Book II Verse 47).   If this is how we practice yoga, the rate of breathing should not increase while practicing difficult postures.  Yoga practice should not lead to fatigue and therein must be individualized for each student.  I’ve intellectually known this definition of yoga asana for a long time.   For many years I would plow through my asana practice, only focused on getting to the next posture.  This goes nowhere towards the ultimate goal of yoga as said by Patanjali “yogas chitta vritti nirodhah” – yoga puts and end to the modifications (thoughts) in the mind.  Following your yoga practice, do you feel calmer mentally?

This brings us to the next point, how does yoga bring about a calm mind?  In the eight-limbed classical approach, the asanas are the third limb, following the yamas and niyamas.  These are behavioral guidelines that come before the postures, meaning that these are practiced first.  The first yama is ahimsa – nonviolence.  The application of nonviolence is up to the individual but includes many behavioral aspects- being nice to everyone (not just those you like), harming as little as possible through your diet (maybe vegetarian), being kind to yourself both in thought and physical action.  This is just a start.   The other yamas are truthfulness, not taking what isn’t yours, conserving energy, and non-possessiveness.  Simply put, the yamas are behaviors that will help you to live in the world peacefully and harmoniously.

Tiwariji taking Jessica's pulse after Pranayama

Pranayama is a set of breathing techniques used to regulate the pranic flow through the body.  It can help to balance out the body and mind on a physical level.  As a regular practitioner of pranayama, I can tell you from experience that it is an amazing tool for achieving clarity of mind.   For me the focus of yoga is not getting better at postures, but being more useful to the world. When I practice pranayama I find it easier to be nice – to reserve judgements, to be a little bit more helpful, and mindful of my actions.  My time in India reminded me how important the yoga practices are.

Assuming Strength

I read an excerpt earlier this year from a book called “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother” by Amy Chua.  It ruffled some feathers in online communities, specifically those about parenting. The author proposes that her Chinese mother’s style of parenting influenced her to push her own daughter towards success. She went on to say that Asian parents assume strength in their children, not softness or weakness. They have high expectations of their children and they encourage them to perform to those expectations. She believes that her demands and discipline refined her daughter’s abilities and supported her self-confidence.

A few months later, I read an excerpt from Tara Brach’s book “Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha.”  In the second chapter, there is an anecdote which describes the Dalai Lama being shocked to learn from a panel of American psychologists that an epidemic of self-doubt plagues our modern American society. We are a culture that needs someone to believe in us. We are a culture that assumes weakness, that is burdened by such a profound sense of unworthiness that we suffer.  So we turn to therapists, substances, anything to make us feel strong, to bring us back to our selves.

And I hear evidence of this all the time in countless excuses:
“I can’t do yoga because I’m not flexible enough.”
“Oh, I will never be able to do that.”
“I don’t have the patience for yoga.”
And so on.

The gift of yoga is the assumption that we are strong enough. The gift of yoga says that we are intelligent enough to find and test our own limits.  We have the capacity to develop loving discipline in ourselves. We can perform feats we never thought imaginable, in any state of health, at any age.

Yoga gives us the vote of confidence we need to believe in ourselves, just like a loving parent with very high expectations.

If you were not blessed with the tough love of discipline as a child, you may find it difficult to quiet the freight train of doubt constantly running through your mind.  Calm dedication to a nurturing practice can be very reassuring in our modern culture.  If you are one of the few instilled with a balanced ego, a strong sense of Self, a patient temperament, and quiet resolve, consider yourself lucky. For the rest of us, there is yoga.